In These Sorrow Filled Eyes
By Amanda Tse
By Amanda Tse
Under the silver light of the moon, all the sorrow that’s been building up inside me comes out in a long, broken howl. I throw my head up and sing the sorrow out of my heart, my two beating hearts. Others of my kind join in and before I know it, we are creating a symphony of haunting, sorrow filled music in the air. This is for her, for Grace, my Grace. I know I’m losing myself. I’m moving deeper and deeper into the woods. I’d forget hours, sometimes even days but not Grace. Not ever. I remember everything about her. Her violet eyes, artwork, golden smile, everything. Even now, as I wake up in the woods behind her house, my thoughts instantly drift towards her. She has stolen my heart.
I look into the sky as the stars call to me. They’ve been pulling me further and further away from her. They’re not the only things that call me though. The moon’s mystical pull, wind that rushes through my fur as I run, the soothing sound of the water running through the stream, and Grace. Grace calls me too. I can hear her even now. She calls my name, Daniel I think it was. Close, yet so far away.
I listen to her, loving the sound of her voice but sticking to the shadows as to not hurt her. I’m stuck in this body of an animal I am all too familiar with. The body of an animal, of a beast, the body of a wolf white as snow. As much as I hate to admit it, I kind of like being a wolf. Being one with nature, feeling so free, it’s so beautiful. It’s like breathing in the sweet fresh air of spring time. It’s like waking up warm after a long nap in the sun. It’s like being at total peace. I can feel my wolf instincts taking over, driving me further away from the humans, from Grace.
My fur stands on end as I sense the presence of another animal. I hear a rustle in the leaves, a change in the wind, and know they’re after me. I can feel it in an animal instinct that is unexplainable even to me. In an instant, I’m running, running away from Grace, from the only real home I’ve ever known. I will lead them away from her, as far away as possible until I reach the clearing. The wind is frigid against my fur and for once, I don’t feel the caress of the wind in my ears. No, I hear my two hearts beating away like drums in battle.
I can hear them, they’re catching up fast. I can feel their breath running down my spine and taste the hatred in the air, but I don’t see them. Trees pass by in a blur as the clearing comes into view. A low growl comes from my left and from my right, a flash of black darker than night itself. In an instant, he’s on me, spitting with hatred. He’s one of my father’s warriors sent to kill me. I bare my teeth and snap at him yet he does not yield. We wrestle in the mud snapping and clawing at one another. There is a sickening crack and the growling from the black wolf subsides into soft whimpers. I know this is my chance to kill him but I can’t bring myself to do it, to take another innocent man’s life. I slowly back away from the wounded wolf when I hear a twig snap. Whirling around I see the violet eyes I dream of so often, but something’s off. They are cold, colder than I have ever seen them before, but there is something else too. A touch of madness contaminates the otherwise breathtaking eyes. It is then that I look into the face of the cold violet eyes and see Jude is standing in front of me. I let out a sigh of relief thinking Grace is still safe in bed when I realize he’s holding a pistol.
“I’m sorry Daniel but what the boss says goes,” he whispers in a voice so quiet it gets carried away with the wind, “goodbye my dear friend.”
I close my eyes and think of the future that should have been. A strange wetness makes a river down to my nose.
There is an ear shattering bang and then, darkness…