Wednesday, June 23, 2010

New York, New York and other fun stuff


Life is slowly getting back to normal. I'm home from my grandmother's funeral in California, final edits of TLS are in (copy edits to come) and I'm only 3 weeks behind on email instead of 8. I've got a little time off to finish catching up on that, and the disaster that is my house, before jumping right back into working on the third book. Hubby has tried to keep up the house without me... but bless his heart, has failed miserably. I still love him dearly and am eternally grateful for his efforts, though. Nothing like a sink full o' dishes and piles of dirty/clean laundry to magnify the mommy/writer guilt.

Ah well. I'll get over it :D.

So, as many of you know, I was fortunate enough to be able to attend BEA this year. I won't give you a full recap since many bloggers have already covered how awesome the conference was, but I will say I LOVE NEW YORK. But I could never live there. Mostly because I am hopelessly unable to use public transit. You may also recall that I am severely directionally challenged.

You see, the thing is about New York-- it's on a grid system, like my home town. So it is REALLY hard to get lost. . . unless you're me. Ok, well, I didn't actually get lost. I knew where I was. I knew where I was going (across town). But for the life of me, I couldn't figure out how to get there! Stepping out of the conference center, there wasn't a taxi cab to be seen. Here's how it went down:

1.) I was meeting my Editor at 7 for dinner. It was now 5:30 so I wanted to go back to the hotel and freshen up before going to the restaurant. And change my shoes. Because my feet were dead from walking all day on the BEA concrete floor.

2.) I stood in the taxi line for a good 40 minutes. Not a single taxi came! Ok, ok, that's a bit of an exaggeration. One taxi came. I decided to give up. Apparently the NY cabbies hate going over to the Javits. Feet are now sore, blistered.

3.) I walked a couple blocks in the sweltering heat desperately trying to hail a cab. No luck. Seriously? Where did all the cabs go? I thought NY was littered with them? Feet threatening to take my life if I continue to use them.

4.) I called hubby to help me figure out what to do and he directed me to a bus stop to catch a bus that should have dropped me off a block away from my hotel.

5.) The bus shows up. I get on and the bus driver yells at me because I don't have exact change (COINS ONLY!). Feet now killing me.

6.) I get kicked off the bus shocked, embarrassed, frustrated, dying from the heat, and a little ticked off that she was so mean.

7.) Called hubby back, obviously upset, and he starts to direct me to the subway station. He tells me to catch the E train heading Uptown. Um... which way is Uptown? Before hubby can answer my question, I'm in the tunnel and have lost all cell reception. Call drops. I end up catching the E train heading Downtown.

8.) Did I mention that my feet were a KILLING me?

9.) I realize at this point there is no way I could make it to the hotel and back to the restaurant in time. I decide to head straight to the restaurant.

10.) I get off at 23rd Street because I recognized that as part of the address of the place I was meeting my Editor for dinner. But I still have to go across town.

11.) I started walking along the street for several blocks while trying once again to hail a cab. Realized I've walked in a giant circle because the GPS on my iPhone assumes I'm in a car and is accounting for the one way streets. At this point I'm ready to strangle Steve Jobs. My feet have decided they would rather stay behind and just let me go on without them.

12.) Figure out the right course and keep going. I have now walked about 2.5 miles in 95+ weather in high humidity and long pants, carrying a huge bag of books I collected at BEA. Sweat is dripping down my face and I'm completely exasperated. It dawns on me that I could have easily walked to the restaurant and been sitting down by now if I'd headed that way in the first place. Kicking myself, but not with my feet. They don't want to have anything to do with me.

13.) Finally found the phone number for Editor Greg in my purse while complaining to my husband over the phone.

14.) Attempted to call Editor Greg. Called the Turks and Caicos instead. WTH? How far does Greg commute?

15.) Realized what I was dialing wrong and attempt again. Success!

16.) After explaining my predicament, Greg says to me "Hun, just hail a cab."

17.) Commence mental break down and complete freak out over the phone.

18.) Luckily Greg was only a few blocks away in a cab at this point. (How the hell did he get one?) He hopped out of the cab and ran to my rescue.

17.) Greg found me a bit teary on a street corner. (Okay, A LOT teary. But he kindly didn't make me feel like a total freak.) We still had to walk another several blocks. Why didn't you keep the cab Greg?!

18.) Finally arrived at destination. Fancy Indian restaurant. I can see a drop of sweat roll down between my eyes and stop on the tip of my nose. I run off to the bathroom and spend a good ten minutes cleaning up. We then had a very lovely, and tasty dinner.

19.)Four days later, my feet and I were finally on speaking terms again, though I don't know if they will ever fully forgive me. And I still have blisters.

Sure. . . its funny now. . .

The rest of my trip to the Big Apple was a blast. Hubby flew out to meet me and we had fun playing and eating our way through New York. Oh, and no more issues with getting lost/stuck. Where he lacks in cleaning upkeep, he makes up with an awesome sense of direction and ability to use a subway map.

I also wanted to thank bloggers like S.F. Robertson of Waste Paper Prose, who kept me from getting lost while INSIDE BEA. Seriously. That place is HUGE!

Anyway, as many of you know there are some exciting things coming in the next few weeks that I can't wait to share with you. For example:

1. We have a new TDD teaser video that will premier at the top 2 grossing theaters in the US for the week of the ECLIPSE premier. *SQUEE!* I will also be publishing said video teaser to youtube/the blog shortly thereafter.

2. We are working on putting together two big contests coming up soon too. One in celebration of the new TDD teaser video, and one in anticipation of the cover release for THE LOST SAINT hosted by PageTurnersBlog.

Oh... did I mention I'm going to Washing DC in 3 days for ALA? And did I mention that I have no idea how to get around there either? That conference center better have cabs!


Jackson Porter said...

That's hilarious Bree. I haven't ever read a more entertaining post. Sorry about your feet. Anyway, Dashner didn't even talk about BEA, so post something about it.


Michelle said...

DC is easier because the buildings aren't as tall. ;)

You know, some spots in New York you just can't find a cab...haven't you watched SATC?

I also think that the New York subway system is the most confusing underground transit system in the world. If I didn't speak English I don't know how I could figure it out. Too many trains on one line makes it tricky. However...only the totally helpless can't figure out uptown and downtown! :)

Steph said...

You'd better hope you never have to find your way around Boston. It was terrible =)

Bree Biesinger Despain said...

Thanks, Michelle! You always know how to make me feel better. Heh.

Might I also ad that I was very tired, hot, and hungry--and therefor not thinking very clearly.

Cat @ Beyond Books said...

This was hilarious (and tragic at the same time!). I hear you about the feet thing, dear gods did mine threaten mutiny many times. I got lost WITH S. F. Robertson, Kristi the Story Siren and James from Book Chic one night! GPS does not approve of you walking anywhere apparently.

I have not read your book yet, but if it's written half as well as this post I can tell you I'll be picking it up ASAP!

Bree Biesinger Despain said...

Ha ha, thanks, Cat. And funny to hear that S.F. isn't fallible in her directional skills. i would have followed her anywhere.

Elena Jarvis Jube said...

Bree, you just described my recurring nightmare of what will certainly happen if I ever end up in NYC. I have the same directional challenges.

I'm not feeling very reassured after your post, but I'm glad you survived it and all turned out well. :)

Hope everything else is going well. Happy writing!

Jackson Porter said...

Bree, get on Fandango and go to the Eclipse ticket thing. Above that will be an advertisement that says, Dip Your Toes Into Summer Reads, in The Dark Divine Font. With the cover. AFter that it will advertise your book.

Thought I'd tell you.


Jackson Porter said...

Or it is, sometimes.

Nicole said...

I'm glad you made it through... DC will be better, and soon you'll be a pro at this.

Anonymous said...

What a good post for NYC. I don't think I'd want to go there, though I am sure it would be fun for a day or two.

Have to buy your book now!

MandieBurns said...

Retweeted the contest on my twitter.... I can't wait to see who wins... Exciting